Well the wedding crafting is in full force. I spent a good portion of the weekend putting together the favors with a little break to go ride the sled and drink some beer.
Thursday night I decided that I didn't want to do anything that Mr. Get lucky did in his first wedding so I convinced him that I needed full access to the pictures and files from his first wedding which we will call from here on out the practice wedding. Being the guy he is, he gave them to me. I spent a good portion of the evening and Friday looking through them and making snarky remarks. Bad idea. I was starting to feel crappy about the whole thing.
That was nothing though. This morning I decided to tackle the ceremony wording. I picked a few readings including one from a favorite book, The Prophet. Since I like to be original we have decided on a hand fasting ceremony as well. I opened the practice wedding ceremony wording to make sure she never read The Prophet and it wasn't included. Well, good news there. As I read a little further my heart sank. Some of the wording that I had found for the hand fasting ceremony was repeated very closely. Well crap. I had to notice that what I found and I liked so much was about partnership while her rendition was all about how wonderful she was. Typical.
I showed it to Mr. Get Lucky and he shrugged, "well the context is different." Thanks honey. After calling all of my friends and whining I got some of the best advice I've heard. Don't worry about her and do what makes you happy. I've been so concerned about bot repeating anything that was in the practice wedding and avoiding asking Mr. Get Lucky as to avoid him thinking about it as well as having my ideas rejected without a reason why. But they are right. This is our wedding and we can't avoid everything. While I don't want to remind him of the past it might happen. While I don't want to repeat what she did it might be inevitable.
What I have to remind myself is that this is the real wedding. I won't ever tell him that I want a divorce in a pathetic attempt to....uh, "save the relationship." I refuse to be that stuck on myself. I will do everything in my power to stay together forever.
Ok, time for a little snark though. I will be the bride with a beer pong table but I won't take pictures of us kissing half in the portal potties as a posed picture. I don't think my photographer would even agree to that. I will not have "artistic" pictures that involve my deodorant or me making a fishy face.
I will not make the same pose forehead to forehead to every member of my wedding party. My pictures won't have my acne scars visible, oh wait I don't have acne scars. My photos won't have red eye. My bridesmaids will not be in prom dresses. I will not force Mr. Get Lucky to read a full page of vows I've written for him about how much he loves me. My wedding will not look like Toucan Sam threw up. I will not have cupcakes that look like they came from Walmart. I will not make my future sister in law be my personal attendant and treat her like a slave. I will not hire a bartender to get my future in laws drunk so they will look like asses in front of our friends and family (especially when they paid for the wedding). I will not make it all about me, but I will make it all about us. I will be unique and the wedding will be visually stunning.
Most importantly I will never take my future husband for granted and I WILL love him for all that he is.
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